Poem

There's a poem I've come across quite a few times as I've been reading books and other Angel mom's blogs. It pretty much describes some thoughts that I've had:

Remembering

(Elizabeth Dent)

Go ahead and Mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me heal by releasing
The tears that I try and hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine"
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

I know some people don't really feel comfortable asking about Heidi and feel like they don't know what to say, but I love talking about her. Even though she's not with us, she's still our daughter and a part of our family.

I went to lunch today with our photographer, and it was so nice to be able to talk about Heidi and to hear her name. Jen was really the only one besides nurses and our parents that got to hold Heidi. I know that she loves her and has a spot in her heart for her.

A few weeks ago we went to dinner with a couple that lost their baby a few months before we did. It was nice to talk openly to them, since they know just how we're feeling. It really has been healing to talk about her, and so if you talk to me, please ask me about Heidi. I still hurt so badly inside, and I'm not ever "just going to get over it" like I feel some people expect me to do. I want her to be acknowledged as a member of our family. We will love her forever!