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The Cates Family

The stories of Dave, Laura, Brady, and our angel Heidi

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Guilty

So, I'm feeling guilty today for something I haven't done yet. I know at some point in the future, I'll feel more ready to move on from everything that's happened to us the past few months. Right now, I love people to feel comfortable asking me about Heidi. I love talking about her and having her acknowledged. But, am I going to get to the point where I don't acknowledge her? Am I going to leave her out of our family count when people ask me how many are in our family? Am I just going to have all of her things and pictures in a box and never look at them? I don't like to think about this. I don't want to get stuck in the past, but I don't want Heidi to be forgotten. I love my little girl.

1 comment:

A womb for rent said...

Heidi,

I don't think she should ever be left out of the count!!! She is your baby girl and nothing will ever change that. When you have your other babies, you tell them about their big sister and be proud of what she has given you.. MANY MANY BLESSINGS!!!!!

I hope this doesn't sound harsh! But I worry that people are making you feel guilty .... Don't let them! Heidi is not their baby girl and they dont have the same ties to her. and thats ok!!! You are her MOmmy and there is a reason that you are her mommy!!! Thats because you are said you would love her unconditionally ( that means even though you cant see her to love her she is always there for you to love her)

Heidi will always be in the count with me I will never forget or ever stop loving her! When people ask you..... tell! If you don't want to tell her story don't tell the story but keep her in the count!

I love you guys and I will pray often that you will be given the strength to know what to do!!!! XOXOXOX